Raleigh Sai Center

Roots of Faith by Ailing Mother

Nalini was born and brought up in Hyderabad, in a very small, close‑knit family with just her parents, her sister, and a limited circle of relatives. From seventh grade onward, her life was overshadowed by her mother’s diagnosis of advanced cancer, and much of her adolescence unfolded around hospitals, treatments, and the quiet worry of not knowing how long her mother would live. Her mother, often away for treatment, refused to let her daughter feel alone. She showed Nalini the picture of God on their altar and told her, “He is my Father; He is with you when I cannot be.” That simple assurance planted in young Nalini a deep, childlike faith that God was a real, living presence who kept her company while she did homework in front of the altar late into the night.

Crossing Oceans: A New Country and a New Guru

Nalini married Param and, without ever having lived outside Hyderabad, suddenly crossed the oceans to move to a remote part of Maine in the United States. Life there was quiet and isolated, a world away from the bustle of Hyderabad, and it was in that unlikely setting that she first heard of Sathya Sai Baba through a doctor who hosted bhajans in his home. They invited the newlywed couple to celebrate their “spiritual guru’s” birthday, and although Nalini did not know Swami, she went with the hope that perhaps this guru could heal her mother, who had been given only months to live.

They never made it to that first event. In the days before cell phones, they were lost in a forested, unfamiliar area without clear directions and eventually had to turn back. Yet that failed attempt only intensified her curiosity: “Why was I not able to go?” She and Param began attending later bhajans at that family’s house.

When Prayers Seem Unanswered

Nalini’s first relationship with Swami was transactional: “If you cure my mother, I will believe you.” She prayed fervently, but within a year of her coming into Swami’s fold, her mother passed away. The grief was deep but mixed with it was anger and confusion. Why had Swami not saved her? She continued attending bhajans, drawn to the presence of God and the comfort of devotional singing, but when the name “Sathya Sai” came in the songs, she kept her mouth closed in silent protest. She was angry, like an upset child refusing to talk to her parent.

That phase lasted until time, reflection, and continued exposure to Swami’s teachings slowly softened her heart. Years later, Swami offered her a deeply personal answer in a dream. She saw her mother seated, expressionless, while Swami stood beside her with His hand on her head. Her mother suddenly began to speak and said that she had asked to be merged. Nalini then realized her mother’s illness was the last bit of karma being cleared before that merging, and that her grief and attachment had not let her see the larger picture.

Motherhood and Swami’s Hand in the Family

As Nalini’s relationship with Swami deepened, He began to guide her family life in intimate ways. Swami appeared in her dreams before the birth of each of her children, Raga and Pranav, blessing her and hinting at the joy to come. Before Raga’s birth, He placed His hand on her head and said simply, “I bless you,” and within a week she discovered she was expecting. Before Pranav was born, when she was anxiously praying for a boy to fulfill her father’s wish for a grandson, Swami came in a dream, gently twisted her ear like an affectionate elder, and told her, “Everything will be alright.” She woke up in tears, laughing at herself for wishing He had specified, “It’s a boy,” but trusting that His reassurance was enough.

At home, Swami became the heart of their family culture. There were no lullabies, only bhajans, often playing all night. Both children grew up falling asleep to Swami’s stories. Every night, they would randomly open one of His books, and Nalini would read whatever story appeared on that page as their bedtime lesson.

A Near-Fatal Accident and a Deeper Turning Inward

A dramatic turning point came when a large truck crossed over from the opposite lane into their path, smashing their van against the railing. In the vehicle were Nalini, Param, both children, and her father‑in‑law. There was no way for them to escape ... except with His Grace! The entire family emerged without even a scratch!! While Nalini recognized it as a miracle, her mind immediately asked, “What if?” What if their lives had ended that day, and what had she done so far with the life Swami had given her?

This brush with death jolted her onto a more intense spiritual quest. During bhajans, she often cried through the entire hour, asking Swami: “Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life? Where is God, and how do I get closer to Him?” In response, Swami began to appear nightly in her dreams, giving what felt like discourses. Each night brought a new topic, and each dream felt like a continuation of His teaching, almost like private classes with Swami.

“Listen, Listen, Listen… No Practice”

After some time of pouring out His teachings in dreams, Swami came with a striking instruction that changed the course of Nalini’s sadhana. In the dream, He told her: “Listen, listen, listen… no practice.” She understood this as a loving but firm nudge. He had already given her all the lessons she needed; now it was time to live them. It was not enough to attend bhajans, read books, or collect beautiful experiences, she had to practice.

She chose to start with what seemed simplest: truth. At first, she interpreted this as “not lying,” and she tried diligently not to speak falsehoods, even at the cost of sick leave or convenience. But very soon, she realized the inner challenge. She might say something kind to a coworker while thinking something different inside. Her conscience, her inner Swami, would immediately tell her, “You are not being truthful.” This pushed her to search Swami’s literature for deeper guidance, and she came to see that truth meant unity of thought, word, and deed and, even more profoundly, recognizing the same divinity in everyone beyond names and forms.

Seeing Swami in Everyone, Even in Difficult Situations

This lesson was not theoretical. Swami arranged real-life tests. At one point, Nalini and Param ran an Indian restaurant in Maine with business partners who were not connected to Swami. The business partners made choices to benefit themselves, and Nalini and Param ended up losing their entire investment. Nalini’s first reaction was to avoid them and to stay away from situations where she had to interact with them.

But avoiding them did not bring peace. She realized that she was still carrying resentment, and that while she claimed to see Swami in everyone, she was making an exception for “these two people.” Swami’s teaching was clear. You cannot say “God is in all” and then carve out exclusions for those who hurt you. Over time, with much inner struggle, she and Param consciously chose forgiveness, not as weakness but as spiritual protection against further karmic entanglement. They invited their former partners home, treated them with genuine warmth and respect, and released the bitterness from their hearts, trusting that everyone’s karma would be handled by Swami.

It was after this that Swami came in a dream and, very directly, asked her: “Do you see Me in everyone?” This time, unlike before, she could answer with complete conviction, “Yes, Swami.” Swami then blessed her, and she has never felt the same.

“I Have Arranged Everything”: The Call to North Carolina

After many years in Maine, where she and Param had lived since marriage, where the children were born, and where their jobs and home were firmly rooted, Swami abruptly changed their life direction with a simple message in a dream: “I want you to move.” Nalini woke up and told Param, who quite naturally asked, “Where?” She had no answer; Swami had not yet specified the destination.

They knew no one in other states, their jobs were local, and their entire life was in Maine. Nalini and Param prayed together and surrendered, telling Swami that if He truly wanted them to move, He would have to show where, how, and when. Shortly afterward, Swami appeared again in a dream and told Nalini, “I have arranged things for you.” The very next day, both she and Param received unexpected notifications from their employers granting them remote work options. This was well before Covid, when such a thing was very rare.

Eventually, Swami made it clear that their destination was North Carolina and that Nalini’s role there would be to teach Group 3 SSE. He even specified the timing of the move, down to arriving before a particular early morning hour. After directing them to sell, not rent, their house and surrender completely to His plan, He guided every step, from the sale of their home to the timing of travel. They arrived in North Carolina in the early hours, slept barely an hour, and went straight to the Sai Center that very morning. Nalini’s first words to someone there were, “I want to teach Group 3. Who do I talk to?” The Education Coordinator replied that a Group 3 teacher had just left and that they needed someone exactly at that level. It was Swami’s orchestration, again, down to the smallest detail.

Fifteen Years with Group 3: Swami’s Teens

For the past fifteen years, Nalini has served faithfully as a Group 3 teacher in our center, honoring Swami’s specific instruction in a dream. At one point, feeling the challenges of dealing with adolescents, their questions, moods, and struggles, she asked if she could shift to another group, perhaps the younger children. Swami appeared again and firmly repeated that He had placed her with Group 3, and she never asked to change after that.

Over time, parents have told her that their teenagers feel unusually peaceful and safe in her presence, that they look forward to her class and feel free to share their hearts. Nalini believes that it is not her personality but Swami’s love working through her. There have been times when Swami has come in dreams and explicitly named a child, telling her that the student is going through something difficult and needs help. With great sensitivity, and never citing her dream, Nalini will approach the parent and gently ask if everything is okay. In case after case, the parents open up about serious challenges, and she has been able to support the child through listening, guidance, or simply steady loving presence.

One mother once called to say her daughter was in the ICU facing a major brain issue and possibly life‑transforming surgery. Nalini prayed intensely, reminding Swami that this child had drawn His picture from memory with such devotion, and she could not accept that harm would come to a brain that was so lovingly turned toward Him. In prayer, she saw Swami standing next to the child’s hospital bed. The next morning, she messaged the parent asking, “When is the discharge date?” The surprised mother replied that the doctor had just come and said everything was fine and that the girl would be discharged soon. Nalini smiled, knowing that the “Doctor of doctors” had already given His opinion.

In another case, a parent frightened about an MRI asked for prayers. Nalini turned to Swami inwardly and felt a clear assurance: “It is only sinus.” She communicated calm support; later, the medical results showed that, indeed, nothing more serious was present. Through such experiences, she has come to see her role with Group 3 not just as a teacher of lessons but as a quiet instrument through which Swami cares for His teenagers.

Living the Lesson: No One Left Out of Love

Looking back, Nalini sees her life in two broad phases: before and after she truly began to practice Swami’s teaching of truth and unity. The first phase, though full of devotion, included searching for God outside, grappling with unanswered prayers, and wanting Swami to change outer circumstances. The second phase, shaped by intense sadhana, forgiveness, and inner transformation, has been about discovering that Swami is within her and everyone else, and that no one can be excluded from love if she really believes “God is in all.”

Her journey, from a young girl doing homework in front of an altar while her mother battled cancer, to a woman who forgave those who took everything from her, to a teacher entrusted with guiding our teenagers, captures the quiet grace of a devotee who has let Swami shape her life through joy, loss, fear, surrender, and service. Today, Nalini continues to walk with Swami one step at a time, striving to live His teachings in every interaction and offering her life, her family, and her Group 3 children back at His feet.